Poetry of SlyM

Right.
Here's a Poem I've been working on since August 23, 2001.
Would you read it through, and ruthlessly critique it?
(If you have a spare hour or two; it's LONG.)
I've put in Numbers for verses, so that you can refer me
to verse 37 line 3 as 37.3 or 37iii
However you like.

A Saga. (or Ballad?)

(1)
The night had come to lay it's velvet wide and deep
But Nungrah and myself were not too close to sleep
For we had just made love, and lay there in a heap.

My face was on her bosom, slick and hot with sweat
Our bodies both relaxed. Exhausted, glad and wet.
And both of us before were virgins, don't forget.

I felt that life was great; the best that it could be!
But I was sadly wrong, as I'd be soon to see
For when the morning came, She said these things to me:

"I can't believe we did -the thing we did last night.
I'm wishing that we hadn't, now that day is light.
Oh, now, to even kiss... it wouldn't feel right."

(5)
But I'll put faith in Time, and there my hopes are hung.
We life out here alone in woodlands, I and Nung.
A pleasant place for two whose lives and hearts are young.

I don't think I should press, these things so new and strange.
It's good to know how our relationship can range,
And as an optomist I trust that things will change.

And change, it seems, has come much sooner than I thought
It's only evening now, but look what it has brought:
My love outside my window -Crying though! A lot!

She stands there, watching, trembling, eyes all filled with tears
Longing for her love, but frozen by her fears.
I though the window wide. -Though hesitant, she nears.

She does not speak a word, but takes my offered hand
And steps in through the window, out of twilight's land.
To give some comfort I embrace her where we stand.

(10)
And somehow our embrace is now a kiss instead.
And now, we've somehow fallen down onto my bed
And now -and Now! and NOW!!! -well, what more need be said?

-=:o:=-=:o:=-=:o:=-=:o:=-=:o:=-=:o:=-=:o:=-=:o:=-
(11)
I slept about an hour in satisfied content
Then woke, saw Nungrah dressed, and asked her where she went.
She calmly said that our relationship was spent.

She said that things were wrong, that she could not ignore
And then "We shouldn't be together any more
So in a week I'll leave." With that, she closed the door.

And Oh! Then how the tears began to flood my face
And time went on, but I could not move from that place
I was too filled with sadness, hopelessness, disgrace.

Then, in this state that I've described to you just now,
A man's come to my window. Asks "What troubles thou?"
With kind and gentle voice, he says "My name is Tau."

(15)
I feel I've found a friend who'll listen to my woes.
To say to me "at times, that's just the way it goes."
So he comes through my window, which I go and close.

I tell him all about our leap to loverhood
And what had passed today, as i had understood
And how I know that now, I've lost my love for good.

I cry "I'd be content! With only one more kiss!"
concluding my sad tale of heartfelt hopelessness.
"One more. That's all I ask. A simple one, like this- "

With poor and desperate grief I kiss him on the lips.
My hands caress his neck, and he my torso grips...
My mind? To passionate oblivion it slips.

-=:o:=-=:o:=-=:o:=-=:o:=-=:o:=-=:o:=-=:o:=-=:o:=-
(19)
The morning rises bright. The grass is cold and clean.
My windows, like two eyes, look out on rustling green.
But- oh my god. Last night! What have my windows seen?

Was that Myself? Who started necking with a man?
Was that Myself!? When all the fondling began?
Myself?! Who then made love? Like following some plan?

I feel a stranger to my very body now.
I'd gone along with this? I can't imagine how!
Oh -someone's at my door. oh no! Please No! -it's Tau.

I tell him "Sorry Tau. I'm just not like that though.
You only did your best to satisfy. I know.
But don't return again or contact me. Now Go."

Without debate, he leaves to not be seen again.
But now the night has come, with deep and heavy rain
And Tau's come back for me and looks a bit insane.

He's barged into my room, and captured both my hands
And from his many threats and sexual demands
I see that he's possessed with souls from evil lands.

(25)
The demon that's inside has vast reserves of power.
He will not heed my "No!" In fear I start to cower.
But here's a plan! I say "Allright. But first you shower."

"You've walked here through the rain, and you're a muddy mess
So use my bathing room, and Then I will undress
And you'll receive my love. My all, and nothing less."

And Tau accepts! So once I hear the water run
I rush to Nung and whisper "quick! call Nine-one-one!
Without police to match his fury, I'll be done!"

Nung feels the danger, so without an argument
She calls the cops before my few minutes are spent
Then says "Just wait five minutes: Help is being sent."

I go back to my room, and lock my door of wood.
If I can stall for time, then all is safe and good
But will this keep him out? I'm not so sure it could.

(30)
With lights turned out, and barricaded in my room,
A claustrophobic fear attacks me from the gloom:
This cornering myself might only seal my doom.

So I'll escape! Indeed, I surely should not stay.
And all the time he'd take to break the door away
I can escape still further, into forest grey.

So, through the window. Now my terror starts to clear.
The raining darkness hides me; makes me hard to hear.
But coming from the woods, a figure hastens near

-=:o:=-=:o:=-=:o:=-=:o:=-=:o:=-=:o:=-=:o:=-=:o:=-
(33)
Of course, it's Tau, and not a power of defence.
He growls "I see. You thought you'd win my confidence
then run off through the trees, and never se me hence."

That's it; My hope is crushed. I've lost all will to fight.
Accepting of my doom, before his angered might
We head back to my room. I guess my death's tonight.

(35)
It's only now, once I have sunken past despair
That help's announced in that police-dog over there,
A huge, grim beast which rushes up with deadly glare.

But I just don't feel fear, e'en though I am between
The murderous Tau, and this great beast, so cruel and mean,
For I've accepted death; the end to all I've been.

I just put out my hand, remaining blankly calm
And those great slavering jaws just stop, to smell my palm
But as I step aside, it floors Tau like a bomb.

It's swallowing Tau whole, and when it's reached his knees,
"How can you let this happen?" asks Tau in a wheeze,
"To me? The one who loves you? Loves you! Help me. Please!"

But I feel only gladness as I walk away.
And Gladness that he'll never see another day.
And gladness as the beast has finished off it's prey.

(40)
But woe on me! For as Tau's mortal body dies
The spirit is not banished into cloudy skies
but moves into the Beast! and gives it glowing eyes!

And as it's thoughts of murder swing around to me
I vault back through my window, knowing it would be
Beyond realistic hope to think that I could flee.

I seal the windows tight, but can they take the shock?
And how about my door? I go and check the lock.
So, here's my barricade, of wood and glass in rock.

I hear the awful sound of claws upon the glass,
But will it shatter? Fearing this could come to pass
I look for any weapon, iron, wood or brass.

I've got to fight, if I can't further run or hide.
There's snuffling, scraping at my door! The Beast's inside!
I hear it run and then against my door collide.

(45)
The wood gives out a Crack! as if kicked by a horse.
It won't hold out for long against so strong a force.
And there's No weapons present, to my great remorse.

So I just brace the door, for what good this might do.
-I wish I had some chests to pile against it too.
It cracks! It is to late! The Beast is coming through!

I stumble back, defenceless, falling to the floor
The Beast leaps up to me, but not with bark or roar.
Just growling, it attacks me. Help! I am no more!

It's pinned me to the floor by shoulders, legs and gut
And makes a gnashing lunge to tear my throat out. But,
My hands grasp at it's muzzle; Try to keep it shut.

Yet I'm aware I've got a second left, at best
Before the creature serves me my eternal rest
So just once more, my own free will can be expressed.

(50)
So, seizing on this chance, I go for irony,
In choosing what my final act of life will be;
I kiss the lips that will so soon devour me.

And What!? But how? They feel like lips of human kind!
Upon the jaws of death. That's rather odd, I find.
And then the change comes to the creature's flesh and mind;

The kiss, our Kiss, has got the demon to depart.
This leaves the body of a dog, which gives a start,
Then wanders on it's way, with plain, indifferent heart.

-=:o:=-=:o:=-=:o:=-=:o:=-=:o:=-=:o:=-=:o:=-=:o:=-
(53)
The horror of the night is fully over now.
The creature's gone, and i have seen the last of Tau
And some exhausted rest, at last, I can allow.

And just as sugar rush will lead to sugar crash,
All that adrenaline has turned my will to ash
-As Nung comes to my room, and tells me something rash:

(55)
That all the past two days were too much of a strain.
The passion, love, and hate, the evil, and the pain.
That's all too much, she needs to tear it from her brain.

She has the neutral tone of one who's got no fight,
And says "I'll end it now, out in the dark of night,"
Then turns to leave, while hiding something from my sight.

For in her hand is held her method of demise;
She means to take a bullet right between the eyes
Then have her blood and pain washed clear by rainy skies.

I reach to stay her hand and save her from this doom
As she puts on her coat and makes to leave the room,
But barely can I move, in my lethargic gloom.

Now as within a dream, we struggle, grossly slow,
To drained to care, or make an effort, even though
It's for her Life! Still, I can only mumble "No."

(60)
"Don't go" I say, and keep on tugging at her sleeve.
Then we get tangled up, and fall in stumbling heave
down to the floor. Now I insist she cannot leave!

In passion I explain that I have realized
That though I've come through fears so strong they paralyse
My life is nothing, without Her, most greatly prized.

So if she reaches out to Death with willing hands
Then I, as well, shall leave with her for unknown lands
of untold Darkness. -And, at last, she understands.


Matthew Sly
Completed June 9, Revised July 5, 2003