Copied from a dateless section of a letter, In August, 2004.
I have had to put in manual line breaks, which will often make the text look odd, but you must understand the need: This letter was written with the character switching with each new line. So -You Need to know precicely where the new line starts, to have Any idea of what's going on. -Ed.

PS from Ed: This was written for the style it's self. These are not views held by me. I am sickened by some of the things here contained. But... if it's strong enough to get a reaction from me... then There Could be Value.

*This bit is for Allison. If you do not know Allison Watson, then there has been a major cock-up. If you do not know her, then give this to someone who might. I doubt that you want to read this if you are anyone other than her. You have been warned.

{This is the "Pre-page."}

Hey Allster, Rocking letter dude. Real deep. Far out Ma Man. Uh...
I suppose that that is incorrect, as you are not male. Hence, I would like to correct that to "Most witty friend."
So, as you've requested me to, I'm writting a letter to you. I hope it's enjoyed through & through.
In truth and frankness though, I would have long since written to thee, but for the fact that I was not written to.
You dig? I got loads of chicks what 'aint writtin' me, soze that I 'aint got
the time required to be able to send you all letters. If you had written me, however, I would feel obliged to dirrect
My oddball adventures from here in Quebec, to You dear, in Sooke, far from René Leveck.
Hence, an equilibrium is attained, that to recieve a letter from my person, you must first write to me. Understand?

Yo, Yo, Yoe Al! The Big Mother of Sugger! How'sit swingin' in Candyland?
Oh bold and charizmatic queen of all sweets. I sencearly hope that your Easter was sweeter than
All the Chocolates of Belgean Make, And richer than an Icecream Cake.
The current date, on which I write this, is Wed., April... ninth? (approximetly). I just got out of
Us guy's first Practice Man, Yeah. I getta be a Person standin' round on da
stage in the National Ballet of Canada's production of Sleeping Beauty. Tomorrow we are having our technical rehersal,
And then on that evenen' we'll walk out on stage. The lord and the lady, the witch and the page.
The day after we have another performance, and on Sat., we have the last two. This is a wonderfull
Thing, see? 'Cause besides gettin' ta see all these hot babes dancin' around
in some extremely extravigant costumes, and besides reaquainting myself with old friends in the company, I'm also being paid the sum
of Seventy dollars, how Grand! Just to walk with a lamp in my hand; And then in the third act, just Stand!
I'll now have to ponder what experience to next relate to you. Hmm, art thou enjoying the form of this
Writtin' of mine? Ya know, With Da Real Talking, like, An' then the Egg-Head stuff, an then a line
which is split up, often by commas, each section with matching rythems, and the last sylable rhyming.
The next line is written with sweet eloquence. That pattern of four lines is repeated hence.
And now, oh goddes of Gumdrops, it is 8:00 thursday morning. In your timezone, it's now 5:00 AM, how terrifyingly
Early, eh? Whoe Man, I'm lucky if I'm even asleep by then. You know, too busy out
watching the sun rise. I have to get up around 4:00 to do it, but as I'm always in bed by 8:30 PM,
When I get up realy early, I'm not all grumpy and surely, and the sky is beautiffuly Pearly.
But I digress; I am now going to ballet class. At 2:30 today, we will have the rehersal on stage, followed
tonight by our first Gig. It's gonna Rock Hard. Killer Music and chicks changing all around
. So I'll have to avert my eyes. Oh my, here's a curious topic; do you remember that question that you would ask me?
'Bout what a guy does when he's cleansing his bladder, but he's just gotta crap, and that's no laughing matter.
Well I once promised you, (I believe) that if the question remained unanswered after 1 year, that I would
Tell ya what us guys gotta do when we're takin' a piss and we gotta take a
moment for a descreet bowel movement. I'm quite certain that the ascribed year has passed,
So please contact me if you still want to know, Then into the mail my answer shall go.

Oh yes. I now remember what else I was going to tell you. It was such;
I ... um, don't remember all the things for that code... uh... AlHaMa. I remembered what
the corrasponding letters were for all the symbols you used in the previous letter, and I
Recall some words for letters still, But how they're drawn I won't know 'till, I'm mailed a page, with that as fill.
Is that all understood? I'll need to see all the symbols before I'm able to write in the sipher ALHAMA.
But... Wasn't * stood for **G*S*? (heh heh.) Ya know What THAT is???
And prey tell, was "X" for xenophobia? Or perhaps it was more a * and * together.
Do you recall, once in the Pool, You thought it would be rather cool, If I would play a muscled fool
by lifting you above my head and bench pressing you? It is much easier than we made it.
'Caus I was standing us up straight. An' that more hard see, 'cause in
the commercial, it was done in the form of a true bench press; With the guy on his back.

Now find a friend whose face is pretty, Tell her that I'm bright and witty, And that we're strangers is a pitty.
For indeed I long for her grace, and that perfect smile, those dazzling eyes. Her sweet melodic voice
Was... Uh... realy... um... a major turn on. Hwoe... I've got a boner just thinking about
(um... pardon me.) her most gracious wit. I would rather spend just one minute with (who ever she is) than
Live to see my thousanth year, Never mourn or shed a tear, Have a lifetime stock of beer, And live without remorse or fear.
Indeed, speak unto her in whatever fasion is neccesary such that she will send me a letter.

Umm... it's 7:00 in the morning, and I'm too tired to keep up that writting style (Yawn!) Uh... so why am I writting you at all? (I dunno.) So I'd better say something. Hmmm... Ummm... Gum.. Sugar.. Allison. That was free word association. Here's more: less -Leslie -pretty -cat -meow -mew -mule -donkey -Jack ass -Fred ass - ... what?? I don't know. Maby I should stop writting because my brain is such a nasty blob of mush right now. It seems like all I can do is describe things. I don't know what to describe though. Oink am I tired. Now I'm getting onto the subway. Now I'm on it. It. has orange seats, und ... um, I'm wriittng reoly messlly nar so Ill stop.